Our beloved Brew.

Our beloved Brew.
R.I.P. Big guy.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Miller Lite Punch Can - Pours Better, Drinks Poor

Miller Beer has resorted to gimmicks to sell its Lite brand. Here's an excerpt from a corporate press release . . .

"Miller Lite is giving its cans a second tab for a smoother pour, and inviting beer drinkers to have fun opening it.

The Punch Top Can increases airflow, reducing glug resulting in an improved, smoother pour that highlights the great pilsner taste of Miller Lite. The second tab on the Punch Top Can can be opened with a wide array of objects such as a house key, golf tee or even a dollar bill, for those who are especially clever. Simply set the can on a solid surface, place your chosen opener against the edge of the can and use leverage to open the second tab.

'Miller Lite is giving beer lovers an even more enjoyable drinking experience with the breakthrough Punch Top Can,' said Amy Breeze, director of innovation and activation for Miller Lite. 'In our testing, consumers told us they prefer the Punch Top Can three-to-one over the standard beer can because it’s more like drinking from a pilsner glass. We’re proud of our product and think everyone will have a blast exploring different ways to open it.' . . ."

Oh, Amy, it should be embarrassing for you to attach your name to such bullshit. Your quotes are a perfect example of "puffery" and disingenuous blubbery used when a spokesperson has nothing relevant to say. Let me assure you, no one is having a blast exploring different ways to open a beer can unless they vigorously shake the can first. This release belongs in the PR Hall of Shame.

More than the world needed a remedy for the dreaded beer glug leading to a smooth pouring beer, it needed another reason to mock a watered down beer. You've given us one more reason to do the latter in bars and on home sofas everywhere. I'm not sure that's the "fun" to which you were alluding in your release.